When you are so graced, there is a refraining from the habit of distraction and a turning inside. Instead of being reactive to what is arising in the play, you turn inside to feel into the internal response. It is always old, it is always a repetition. If no story is built around it and you are just meeting this out of what is still – what is still is the heart. There is this love that is meeting something that experienced the loss of love. And what this does is it melts away something that has been carried the whole life. As this melts away the armoring, the numbness begins to melt away with it. One begins to see that what I believed to be the problem is not the problem – it’s the answer to the problem.time anything happens either subtly, or what seems to be severe, when there is refraining from following the mind’s story of what is going on out there – and there is remaining inside yourself – in an unmovable way, without holding a story but feeling your own essence, holding the space for this internal response – it will always bring one back to early life.
It will become so clear it’s just repeating and repeating. You will naturally meet aspects of yourself that have been buried, pushed away, not been recognised. These are the elements that drive every behaviour that is attached to ‘should’, ‘have to’, ‘need to’, ‘responsible for’ – all of it.
One by one in the meeting of these pieces – when the light of love meets what was experienced as being unloved it evaporates back into the ether from where it first came. The protection starts melting more and more, the recognition becomes clearer and clearer. There is a welcoming of every single thing in a recognition that it is a manifest expression of God creating the doorway. What is needed is letting go of the protective armour of the responding story and meeting yourself – free of the habit of conditioning. As this process deepens the shell begins to melt away, the sense of inside and outside begin to melt away, the sense of me being separate begins to melt away, and you begin feeling yourself in everything everywhere. The thing of it is when the point of reference begins to dissolve – which is what happens, so too does the illusion of time, the illusion that I am the body, and the experience that anything can injure me or hurt me in any way. -Devaji